August 27, 2007

  • now might be the time where i get myself into a bit of trouble. i'm in
    unchartered waters. i don't know how i'm supposed to act. i don't know
    what is happening. it is what it is, i love saying that and it just is what it is... and i'd like to leave it organic as i have but doing just that has caused me to land
    in a situation where all of a sudden the stakes are seemingly a bit
    higher than preferred, expected or desired as i have invested quite a bit of time and energy in a single
    direction. it still is what it is, i'm still going to go with the flow
    but doing so has caused me to let my guard down and be completely open.
    and now, now i'm having a bit of a freak-out because i don't know what
    the heck i'm doing. i kind of want to just put my guard up and be careful as it feels like things have the potential to spiral
    out of control if they haven't yet already. i don't feel like i'm in
    control. things are no longer on my terms. feelings are involved, i
    have feelings about this all - and that means the possibility of my
    feelings getting hurt actually exists. not that i expect for that to happen of
    course... i have decided to put trust in the situation and trust in
    him... but you never know. there are no sure things.


    ugh. this is a shitty way to feel for sure. i need to get running. i
    need to clear my head and make sense of this nuttiness i feel.

    anyhow, the weekend recap: jazz in the garden, modern, five, taqueria distrito federal, foot reflexology @ tysons, miso cafe in annandale, rajaji in woodley park, cafe saint ex, han sung oak in annandale, and lots of other shenanigans which i cannot recall. my weekends have been interesting to say the least.