March 17, 2008

• the breakup.

  just some mutterings on breaking up. none of it is compelling, i'm pretty sure, but these thoughts have floated in and out of my head in the past few days. here we go:
  
  | 1 | a while ago, someone told me that while a breakup for you (or me) might be traumatic and stop you life in its tracks for a while... for everyone else, they hear about your misfortune and then move on. and it's quite true. if i think about people around me who have faced breakups... i dwelled on their situation for just a bit, and then it was like, okay... what's next? i don't think i've ever done a great job with checking back in on the person, seeing how they were dealing with it all, or ensuring that they feel like they had people around them when they in fact just "lost" someone. (shame on me, i know. my sister however, is very good at checking back in. thank you very much.) but for those who think the world revolves around them... which admittedly is definitely me at times... this simple notion of "life goes on" was kind of a revelation because it helped me to kind of put things into perspective by thinking about: a) people's lives and the world goes on all around me, regardless of what has happened in my personal life. b) you can't dwell on your breakup forever. c) people get together and breakup all the time. there are millions of people who probably are in the same boat. and for everyone, life goes on. we all go through this. does that make sense? i mean it just was oddly eye opening for me.
  
  | 2 | it never matters who initiated the breakup or if it was mutual. a loss is a loss is a loss. you can still be the one doing the "dumping" and you can still be hurt and still mourn the loss of the person or relationship.
  
  | 3 | i dunno if it's the difference between guys and gals... but i've noticed based on my own experience that gals tend to need some space and time after a breakup. even if you do want to be friends with your ex, there's still some breathing room that's needed immediately after you've parted ways. i don't get how people i've broken up with with have tried to be friends with me so soon afterwards through small notions - sending emails, text messages, IM's, what have you. i need breathing room and space. i can't be your friend immediately. i need time to digest and "get over" you. i just can't process things so quickly.
  
  that's it for now.

  • 9:25 pm
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