Monday, 16 June 2008
Monday, 14 April 2008
jealousy got me onto facebook. i couldn't believe one of my friends wouldn't send me pics from a girls weekend we had recently! she said she'd only put them on facebook and that it was about time i joined. how could she not share photos with me, right? so i joined. and i now see more photos than i really was prepared to see. and i now worry as every picture of me seems to be with a gin and tonic in hand. i do love my gin and tonics...
gin and tonics at la halles + asia9 on thursday. gin and tonics at lotus + science club on friday. gin and tonics at 18th street lounge + mie n u on saturday. it's a wonder that i managed to get off my sleepy bum and out to do some running this weekend despite all those gin and tonics. but i did. and i'm re-dedicating myself to running, i think. perhaps the army ten miler in october? perhaps. i'll just work my way up on the stamina front and see how i feel in the next month. average runs are at 5-6 miles at this point. new running pants today should give me some motivation for at least a few weeks. 5.23 today:
on my run today, i was thinking. i should be careful. it can only be just fun and games for so long, if that makes sense. i should be careful when there are feelings involved. no one deserves to get hurt, and if i can prevent feelings from getting hurt... well, i should do it. companionship is nice. someone to smooch on every so often is nice... but let me not be selfish here.
Wednesday, 09 April 2008
i guess there's a reason why certain people become a part of your past and no longer are in the present.
over the last week or so, i've either bumped into or purposely met up with folks from my recent past (recent past = the last three years let's say and from various parts of the last three years too). with the planned meetings, my intentions were good. i wanted to catch up. i wanted to see a friendly face, i kinda was interested in any new gossip that i might have missed out on. after the exchange of pleasantries though, i realized that i was somewhat bored with the conversations and well, to put it bluntly, bored with the person too. so i was thinking, there obviously was reason why i hadn't tried to actively keep these individuals in my present - i just wasn't compelled. sure, that makes me sound kinda bitchy as if i'm better than them or don't need them. but i have realized over the past few years that i don't need a lot of friends. i just need a few key friends and my family to keep me fulfilled and sane. it's too difficult to sustain deep and compelling relationships with a lot of different people - and truthfully, i don't think that there are many individuals worth the time and effort. so, i keep a core group close to me and that's it.
the weird thing was that with seeing people from my past, whether it was intentionally planned meet-ups or those run-in's, after getting over the initial niceties of seeing each other again after whatever the period of time was... i felt nothing. it sounds sad, but it was oddly reassuring too because it confirmed there clearly was a reason why ties were cut. this makes me sound cold, i realize. it was nice though to realize that decisions and actions were made for a reason. validation that i'm doing the right thing and that people serve purposes for certain periods of time.
(miss alyssa. if you're reading. consider yourself exempted from this post. this doesn't apply to you. :) just want to make sure that's clear.)
my sister's most recent blog entry reminded me that i took this pic at the airport of all places before heading to seattle last week. it's cherry blossom season and they are everywhere. it reminds me of seattle and the beautiful trees on the university of washington campus. nothing beats the cherry blossoms around the mall though. this pic i snapped up at reagan national last week though:
Monday, 07 April 2008
back from seattle. got food poisoning from some stupid mahi mahi tacos that i had for lunch at chinooks. never again.
thursday, went to work but mid-day, i took a break to go with my pal to finalize her wedding dress order. she's getting a dress from a fab local designer, wai ching. some pics from the studio - beautiful, beautiful stuff:
a version of the dress she'll be wearing:
i was really impressed with the dress below on the left. the details are amazing. and the cool thing is that the designer, chrissy, hand-dies the silks:
thursday evening, one of the highlights was checking out the renovated Seattle Art Museum, also known affectionately in Seattle as the SAM. i was so impressed with what they've done. some highlights --
the outside of SAM -
the lobby of SAM -
some of the new modern art stuff -
part of their special roman artifacts exhibit -
the old grand entrance to SAM, now kinda abandoned -
old hammering man outside -
that's it for now. am waiting for a food delivery. finally am hungry again, which is a great sign!
Friday, 04 April 2008
well, it's a typical seattle day here. gloomy, a little bit of drizzle... and i love it.
not much has changed here but what has, i like. a few more tall buildings, the SAM has been renovated and rehauled, a few new and cool restaurants.
pictures later. having a nice time though.
Wednesday, 02 April 2008
pretty much all packed and ready to go to seattle. i will take my luggage to work and leave for the airport around lunchtime.
i was looking through pictures from my travels over the past year just now... and i have total wanderlust now. i need a big trip. soon.
this was a great pic i took in morocco though - i thought this kid was so cute. the color of the fence, against the greenery of the trees and then the sky... just great. plus i got the kid and his shadow. check it out:
Monday, 31 March 2008
i'm kind of a wordy person. i use too many words. but i like the words that i use. and i choose them carefully, especially when having to put them in writing. but sometimes, i use words when they aren't really necessary. they might not even be asked for, or given at the right time. i frequently like to just get whatever is on my mind off of my chest, whether you ask for it or not.
but, when a month ago or so i received an email from someone in my past... i had such a strange reaction when i realized that she had sent me a note that i didn't want or need. it was basically an explanation for why some things had happened, plus an apology of some sort. as i thought about why she sent it and where she might have been coming from, i really felt like the message was really more something she sent to help herself rather than help me in any way. she really needed to get something off of her chest so as to ease her guilt or something like that. i didn't need it. i didn't want it. but she sent it never the less. and i was forced to read it and deal with it. i thought it was strange. i thought it was overkill. but i never imagined that i would do the same or be that way though. i've not ever caught myself doing that... until now. or maybe i've been completely unaware when doing this in the past. but i guess i did the same thing last night. unrestrained, i sent this long email to a friend because i felt compelled. clarification over a particular situation wasn't asked for... yet i gave it. it's funny how we choose to react to situations.
so today, a friend says to me when i tell him about my unsolicited and wordy email that sometimes clarification is reserved for when people ask for it rather than when you feel like giving it. he said that's always the way it is with wordy people. we talk for ourselves, the conversations we've already plotted in our heads and all but finalized. and he was so right. i'm always having conversations with myself that i'd like to have with others. usually, i'll have the conversation eventually... but i just need for it to play out in my head first. maybe it doesn't come out the way i had originally intended. but i had the conversation already because the words mean so much. this perhaps is only interesting to me. but i found it interesting. all those words.
Sunday, 30 March 2008
seriously, this is sweat equity - the dresser and nightstand that i acquired on saturday at ikea... which means i had to put the damn things together:
i also took some time today to shop a bit for some decorative items for my place. i'm tired of it looking so drab. hopefully though, i won't go overboard and start buying a lot of crap. courtesy of west elm:
tired but in a chill and productive mood... last night was K street lounge and then ESL. good times as always although i can't stand the number of douche-bags at K street. i would never go voluntarily. i must say though, i was feeling quite lucky and lovely... i somehow got away with no cover at both. it's nice to be a gal.
this afternoon, post-shopping, coffee @ murky, and dinner at piola's. i didn't love the pizza. i think i have to stop eating pizza if it isn't going to be 2 amy's
Saturday, 29 March 2008
1.5 years after moving to DC, i finally get some bedroom furniture. today, we swung by ikea and found a dresser and nightstand. i managed to put both together on my own in about two hours. i'm impressed with myself... but exhausted. time for a nap. before i catch some z's though... some more pics from my weekend in philly last weekend:
Friday, 28 March 2008
I’m feeling introspective right now, so let me try to be brutally honest with myself (and you, by default) for a moment.
So, on Wednesday, I am off to head to Seattle for a few days. It's been just about a year and a half since I left and this will be my first time back. And I have to say that I have some mixed emotions about the trip. I am excited to see one of my dear gal pals and plan to spend most of my time with her while there... but having left Seattle bruised slightly, I cannot say with the utmost conviction or complete confidence that I am returning fully healed and repaired from the big portion of my life that I lived there. I wish I could say I felt differently.
True, my life since moving has been a whirlwind and extremely exciting – new city, new job, new friends, new boyfriends and now more ex-boyfriends, amazing travel opportunities abroad, becoming an auntie thrice.... It has been a really neat and exhilarating ride. But I guess scars never fully go away and I can't help but to be reminded of the tears shed and heartache from my time in Seattle as I get ready to go back.
There is the obvious heartache from a broken romantic relationship, there is even some minor heartache from broken friendships… and then there is also this whole other dimension of the ups and downs with my family. Seattle is where I feel like we, my family, basically broke and fell apart. When I lived in there, I saw my older brother and sister both move away and on to start their own lives in other cities. There were marriages and divorces. My dad passed away when I lived in Seattle. All in all, it was a pretty rocky ride living there.
My last few days there, before really taking the plunge and deciding to settle in DC, were so chaotic and full of tears. I actually cringe a bit when I think about the way my heart felt as I prepared to leave because an unexpected turn of events had taken place that really broke me and shocked me to the core. It was absolutely the right decision to leave, but it was not easy by any means. And so as the plane took off for me to get here to DC, I felt like I was saying goodbye permanently. I didn’t want to have anything to do with that city that had been such a tumultuous place. I wanted to leave everything behind and make a fresh start. Yet, here I go back.
Interestingly, booking the flight to go back to Seattle next week was actually borne from another breakup. I needed to commit to and cement my new found single state though some sort of spontaneous decision, plus I wanted to go somewhere that I knew I would be safe and secure being just slightly damaged from the breakup. And as I thought about where I could go, oddly enough, the best and easiest getaway turned out to be Seattle to visit a friend who has been there for me through a lot in the past few years. Slightly ironic? I think so because here you have a city that I ran from and have tried to bury away in my past yet all of a sudden, it’s a haven and escape from life in DC? It's funny how things work out. Maybe this is going to be one of those full circle moments.
it's funny how two different people can see the same exact situation in two completely different ways. i mean, forgive the elementary thoughts - i know for some this is basic and very old news... but, it just never ceases to amaze me how divergent people's points of view can be when looking at or being involved in the same situation, together.
if i think about why the most recent relationship i was in ended, or even if i look at the past three... okay, if i look at every relationship i've ever been in and why it ended, i would be willing to bet money on the fact that me and the ex would cite very different reasons for why things didn't work out. and mostly, it would probably always be my fault, in their eyes. but the thing is, i'm always willing to be accountable for what i did wrong and what i could have done differently. i accept blame really easily when something is my fault. if i'm wrong, i can say that i was wrong, change gears and get right. but when the other person can't do the same... it's a bit tough to reconcile and come to any kind of consensus over what the truth is and what the truth isn't.
Monday, 24 March 2008
inspired mostly by my sister who is as crafty as can be, and inspired slightly by the fact that my apartment still hasn't achieved that shabby chic look i've always wanted, i undertook making some paper flowers. the first flower took 40 minutes to pull together, the subsequent ones took about 30 minutes a piece.
and as you can see, i couldn't quite get the lighting right trying to take pics of them. look at the mess though:
the kit allows for me to make 12 more flowers... i might be too lazy to really follow through and finish this project up. i'm just not dedicated enough to be crafy...
Sunday, 23 March 2008
friday night. i shouldn't have gone out but i couldn't resist... and the night ended a bit more crazily than i anticipated. i appreciate that as a result though, i know where i stand with a particular person. and vice versa. anyhow, i went to philly on saturday morning for a weekend girl's trip (hence, i shouldn't have gone out... i met up with my gal pals to drive up to philly after 3 hours of sleep. yikes!). as soon as we got there, we checked into our hotel down on the waterfront. from there, we went to the philly museum of art.
yes. the philly museum of art would be where that infamous rocky scene takes place and he runs up the steps. coincidentally, one of my gal pals (pictured above) whose name is adrienne received her name as a result of the inspiration her parents felt after watching the rocky movie. she's never watched it.
these would be the place where the rocky balboa statue used to stand in front of the museum. thankfully, it's been moved ot the side. the footprints below commemorate the statue's old place. was he really wearing converse in the movie though?
we checked out the frida kahlo exhibit at the museum. it's interesting where it's showing - it opened in minneapolis, and then came to philly, and then goes to the SF MOMA next. nevertheless, it was a great show. i usually don't do the audio headsets at museums but i am glad we did for frida - i learned a lot about her that i didn't know. two pics i was able to sneak in while there:
her relationship with diego rivera - fascinating. also interesting is the divergence between what she really looked like and how she painted herself. i wonder if we all are a bit that way too.
the museum had a small modern art wing. i liked these jasper johns pieces a lot:
following, we fell upon a rodin museum. i was so pleased! i learned a bit more about how rodin pieces are created - and that there are 61 statues of "the thinker"! this pic was taken outside of the rodin. the pose was not intentional... but fitting.
the gates of hell, outside of the museum:
one of the many sculptures inside the museum - check out the facial expression:
following the museums, we went for dinner at xochitl where we had plenty of sangrias to kick the evening off. in my hand would be a nice white wine sangria we had (+ gal pal, B):
following xochitl (pronounced so-cheet), we hung out in the 2nd street and society hill neighborhoods. where specifically... well, it's kind of a blur. today started with more of the same though. i must say... beer on a lazy sunday is great. i felt much better than i looked here:
more pics later. my battery died in the morning, and i have to say - it's exactly what bothers me about canon cameras! no battery meter! wah.
more to say later as well. i've found myself in the midst of what seemingly are head games. i am starting to finally see it for what it is and just can't help but to scoff.
Thursday, 20 March 2008
i know this is really cheesy... but i've been into america's best dance crew and i have to admit, i'm so disappointed that kaba modern is out! i have the feeling that this was rigged. perhaps they didn't want two majority-asian crews in the final. ugh. how sad...